Space to Honor Your Inner Self
It’s back to school! I can’t believe my daughter just started a at a “big kid school”. We are all in our feels at the Casa de Peavey - excited, terrified, proud, and protective - and that’s just me!
Working on a card for her new teacher she hasn’t yet met, I ask “what message would you like me to write?” Cocking her head to the side and furrowing her brow, she considers, then looking up at me, says, “Dear Maestra… I love you so much… I hope you like me ok.”
Isn’t that the truth, whatever armor we put up, we all want to be loved and accepted, ideally as our true selves, but let’s face it, most of us are willing to trade in our “true” selves to feel safe and accepted. Heck, I know I did it for decades. The last few years I have been on a winding path to rediscover who “me” is, and then try not to leave her when things get tough.
I know many of you are on that path as well. It can be filled with struggles, yet vibrant and full of life, like you are inside. Like we all are deep down, under everything we’ve constructed for the world outside.
For today’s Design for Happiness letter, I share tips I use with others and myself to help to 1. connect with your inner self, and 2. create a physical space (however small or large) that honors that inner self!
Connecting with your Inner Self:
What did you love growing up?
— The things that brought you joy just thinking about it – dancing, cartwheels in the grass, cooking with your mother, art projects with your best friend (this was mine), listening to Lauren Hill or Garth Brooks, playing soccer with friends.
— Give yourself 5 minutes and write down as many as you can (at least 10).
Now reflect - what did you love about those? How did they make you feel? Is there anything that helps you to feel that same way today?
Create a Space that Honors Your Inner Self:
Looking at your space today, do you see that inner self reflected?
Are there existing objects that anchor you or bring you joy?
— A picture from adventures, a card someone made for you, or a poster from a concert. Whatever it is, can you see it daily? If not, is there a way to rearrange your room or what is on your wall so that you can see it more often?
— Do you have a place, like a corkboard or other, where you can collect items that bring you joy and anchor you in gratitude and connection?
Your (completely optional) Home-work:
Choose a memory or things that brings you joy to embrace this month; then create space to honor your inner self.
Whether it’s organizing your space, so art supplies are easy to reach and put away (my personal favorite), making a special place for your running shoes to prompt you in the morning, or changing up the space to break old habits you want to leave behind to create space for what brings you joy! (I would LOVE to hear about your experience, and feature it on my next newsletter or post.)
Our spaces, at their best, help remind us of our best selves, what we’ve overcome, the people/pets/things we love, and who we aspire to be. It is not a one-time effort, but a regular practice of connecting with ourselves, and giving literal space to that self in the places we occupy (for me it is a cork board on the wall with notes and quotes and works of mini-art) – for you it could be refrigerator magnets, a small shelf with your favorite books or pictures of happy memories.
Whatever it is, let us acknowledge the darkness, and still reach for the light. You’re not alone on the journey. You have me, and all of us on this journey together!
NOT TO MISS
Erin’s interview with the BBC Women’s Hour, on Can Design Heal Loneliness?
Are you passionate about mental health, a clinician or mental health provider, check out Erin’s upcoming presentation at the Global Exchange Conference